“People should be honest to themselves and their loved ones” is a phrase that has become outdated not for the better nowadays. Neither are we honest to ourselves about how we want to live nor the people around us who are the most important part of our life. Glennon Doyle, the famous blogger, and writer lead one such life and the book “Untamed” elaborates on how the story unfolds.
Brief Account of Glennon Doyle
Doyle was a famous personality as a perfect wife and mother. What’s more, she was about to publish a book, Love Warrior, that described how she and her husband had finally managed to heal their marriage despite his multiple affairs. It painted a picture of a perfect family and a newly harmonious marriage which was rather going the opposite path because she no longer felt for her husband. But as unaware is anyone about the source of their unhappiness or because they try to ignore uncomfortable truths, she continued with her book tour for promotion. In one such event, she saw the love of her life, Abby Wambach, a retired professional soccer player. They both connected on a good level and there was definitely a spark that told Doyle that “this was her”.
Though again she kept her feelings below others around her to fit in the society soon she realized that she was feeling like she was part of this cage of hiding herself and needed a release, that is when she opened up to her husband, who took it quite warmly and gave her good support. They afterward told their children threat they were going to have a different kind of family onwards but they don’t have to choose one side.
The Substantial Cage of Perfection
In Untamed, Doyle reveals that since age 10 she had been burdened with speculations by society and she caught in between to match the expectations of a good girl while feeling repressed, alcohol and drugs became essential to run away for some time. When she got pregnant she chose to be sober and follow the path of sobriety which gave her little peace. But she was still living it according to other people's expectations. She hadn't managed to escape the sexist cages she lived in.
She finally came out to people she loved, although many like her mother and Christian society did not appreciate it she was much more confident now. With the book launching in a few weeks, she took the best decision of her life, i.e. to come out on her blog about her divorce and sexuality. Amazingly, it was welcomed like never before with warm wishes and her book became a bestseller.
Confrontation to the World
As we read in Untamed, the whole process of opening to the world had proved to be very accepting than Doyle thought. The challenge was not to give impetus to an organic thought process for her future which is based on her own beliefs. A primal intuition lived there, something she would come to call the Knowing. Whenever she was anxious or uncertain about something, she could get still and access the Knowing; it would give her a soft nudge, guiding her. She realized that some of her beliefs were completely outdated. For example, she had been educated to believe that being worthwhile entailed always being busy and active, being bigoted, and mindlessly following what Christianity said. She no longer needed to crowdsource her decisions after reconnecting with her instincts.
Together with trusted friends, Doyle founded the nonprofit Together Rising. The organization raises funds to support people fighting for change all over the world. In total, they've raised over $20 million using a grassroots fundraising model, with an average donation of $25. They get to experience their own power and see how much can be done when you work together to address pain and suffering, rather than running away from it.
In the book, Untamed, after getting sober Doyle wanted to create the narrative of her family as the perfect one but that is not someone can control, and her definition of perfect fought with her own identity. By questioning the societal beliefs she’d internalized, Doyle was able to stop living life by default and design the partnership and family that fulfills her most.