Being a mother or father does not come with a manual, and various parents seem to face difficulties once their kid hits the teenage years. It's natural to have problems when it comes to dealing with the adolescent stage, what to stop doing for your children, and how to get through parenting.
Getting that best equilibrium between training a child to be self-governing and reliable, but additionally making sure that they understand they can consistently count on their elders isn't an effortless job at all. Moreover, it happens to be something that parents face complications with. That's where the following list comes into play. It ensures some supervision on what sort of things you should not focus on as a parent. Let's take a glance at 8 things you should stop doing for your teenager.
8 things you should stop doing for your teenager
- Helping them with their laundry: Teens happen to be experienced enough to support themselves with chores around the home, mainly if those responsibilities are concerning their betterment. Therefore, while it happens to be okay to clean the teen's clothes now and then, it happens to be similarly imperative that parents educate their child to perform it on their own as one day, they need to do it alone.
Additionally, laundry happens to be everyone's private belonging, so why not train your child to keep a record of the dresses that require a wash and make certain that they get them washed whenever they want. It happens to be easy for a child to depend on its parents. However, the parent must help the child to become self-sufficient.
- Waking them up every morning: Talking of becoming self-governing, if you, as a parent, happen to be waking up your teen each morning, you are required to put a halt to this practice. If your children are mature enough to own a cell phone, they have admittedly grown-up sufficient to set a daily alarm on it and rise without mom or dad getting concerned.
Additionally, getting active and waking up on time happens to be a significant trait every parent needs to make sure that their child possesses. Accordingly, no more depending on parents while the time comes to wake up, plus if the child oversleeps, they are required to manage the outcomes on their own.
- Helping With Their Homework: When a child is stuck with study, helping now and then happens to be okay, but once your kid reaches a particular age, they need to have a foreground of knowledge. They should be capable of tackling their schoolwork on their own, plus if you keep correcting, the child may never understand the key to solving problems on his/her own. You need to take a step backwards. It will let the child understand he/she can only ask for advice once he/she does not understand how to answer a particular sum. Contrarily, they might require to try more as everyone apprehends homework is not reckoned to be extremely easy.
- Preparing and packing their food: Another thing you should stop making for your child after they turn into a teen is preparing them food and wrapping them for school or college. At this stage, the teen requires to understand the responsibility for making their tiffin. Plus, nothing can signify more helpful to begin other than with breakfast.
Also, time management during the morning happens to be a quintessential skill concerning every person, plus you can never start quick enough in mastering it. It does not mean you cannot teach them how to cook their favourite breakfast meals or how to cook a nutritious lunch. But, once they are a pro, leave it to them.
- Cleaning their bed: This one happens to be quite apparent initially. However, various people may be shocked to discover that there are parents who still clean their teen's bed, also when the child happens to be mature enough to do it on their own. Furthermore, it is a task the teen should perform on their own.
As a parent, you need to be tee confident about your teen taking this task seriously. Also, it would help if you let them take over the job. It happens to be their room after all, plus they need to be accountable for maintaining it orderly and tidy. It also does not necessarily indicate just to their bed, but their entire room.
- Calling and emailing For Them: After your kid turns into a teen, make sure that they can send their mails and make calls related to work and school. They need to take the responsibility of making essential calls as this will boost their self-confidence when it comes to talking to people. It may be a little stressful on their end; however, getting used to it is the only choice they have as it is likely to increase when they start earning.
Mastering the art of dealing with people and their tantrums is an essential skill that children need to be a professional at. Moreover, you, as a parent, need to help your child by refusing his/her request and explaining the meaning of responsibility to them. It is imperative to be there for them, supporting them and assisting them; nevertheless, it's additionally essential to allow them to make it on their own!
- Pet chores: Various parents wait for their kid to turn into a teen before adopting or buying a pet. It is because it is the kid who craves for the same. Additionally, it is because the parents also want their kid to take care of the pet. Furthermore, all of these might be effective only for a few weeks as teens get bored with cleaning and feeding pets quite quickly, and the responsibility of taking care comes to the parents.
While they unconditionally love their furry baby, there are chances that they would not feel like taking care of them. It indicates the parents may end up feeding, walking, and cleaning the pet. So, if the kid happens to be old enough to perform some of those, you should insist the burden becomes theirs.
- Forcing them to spend time with families: When kids grow into teens, they hate spending time with their family as friends attract them more. Well, there is nothing to blame them for. Their life happens to be vivid with friends and school. However, understanding the importance of family happens to be essential. Spending time with family is something to be treasured for a lifetime. But, you have to make sure about the fact that they understand on their own.
Forcibly telling them to spend time with family or attending get-togethers on the weekend may make them grumpy. Make sure you provide them with their own space to let them find their time for family members. As they are developing, you need to understand that "me-time" carries much more weightage than family time, from their perspective.
Things to never say to your teenager
Teenage happens to be a stage when children go through the havoc of physical and mental changes within them. So, as a mother or father, you need to be careful about what you say to them as a few simple words can easily hurt their feelings.
As it is considered as one of the most volatile ages, the physical and emotional development in the teenage years is approximately complete. Understanding the intellectual world happens to be a challenge for them during these years. Thus, picking your words may not just help their upbringing, but also make you a better parent from their viewpoint.
When it comes to parents, they need to have a friendly bond with their growing teens. Teenagers happen to be quite emotional at this age, so anything random may hurt their feelings anytime, and they may take a drastic step. Your role, as a parent, should be respecting and treating them as equal. It might be necessary to scold them but in the right way. Therefore, understanding the things parents should never say to their child is important.
1. "You are useless".
Teens begin developing a good sense of dignity and self during their teenage years. During this stage, you must never, in any situation, term them as useless. It is one of the things to never say to your teenager. It might matter to you, but you may, unknowingly, hurt your teen's ego.
2. "We cannot allow you to do that."
Being a parent, you need to stop your child from doing anything that is not suitable for them or harmful to them. But, while dealing with teens, do not merely bind them from anything. Explain the logic behind your restraints.
3. "Your brother/sister is a better child."
Several parents possess the typical mentality when they compare their child's performance with neighbours, siblings and relatives. Make sure never to do that; it damages your child's self-confidence. Someday, due to this, they will begin dropping marks and skipping examinations without letting you know.
4. "I craved for a boy/girl."
There have happened cases where mothers tell their kids that she wanted a baby of the other sex. It happens to be a troublesome thing to discuss with your child. Keep in mind that your kid by now treasures you wholly and consciously. In case you begin showing them negative feelings, they will miss their affection for you.
5. "Why are you doing this?"
Teenage happens to be the term when teens try various unusual things. They attempt to discover their character by seeking out different ways of styling. They join in and attempt to uncover new ideas. Therefore, if your child is, say, a member of a metal band, do not reprimand him or her regarding it. It will help if you are bountiful about your teens. Constantly probing them may indeed lead to sadness in them.
6. "What are your whereabouts?"
It is perfect when it comes to questioning your kids regarding their whereabouts. You can ask them about what they have been doing or where they have been. However, your list of questions should not signify nineteen to the dozen. Your child should not seem like they happen to be a culprit being cross-examined regarding information. It might result in them neglecting you.
7. "What Privacy?"
Your teenage children require privacy. They might crave to read a book quietly or dance to the tune of a song. Teenagers prefer to stay by themselves without anyone disturbing them. Therefore, do not hurt their privacy, do not say things like, you do not need confidentiality, what privacy, etc.
Teenagers are quite vulnerable when it comes to emotions. You need to, at all cost, abstain from yelling at them. Make sure to control your overreacting regarding everything. Manage your anger and deal with things smoothly. It will lead to better outcomes if you discuss your feelings with your teen.
9. Abusive behaviour
The verbal insult at any time happens to be emotionally hurting. Kids themselves turn out to be either stringent or revoked as of violence. Treat your teen with respect.
10. "You Are still a kid".
Of all the things parents should never say to their child, it is not a helpful idea to keep abusing your teenager for still being a kid. It may lose their self-esteem and sense of self. Make sure to treat them as young adults. At each stage of growth, you need to be careful when it comes to your child. What you believe was a random reprimand might lead to grave results later.