If life is full of lemons, children are surely a major part of it. In other words, a child is like a seed that you sow, the nourishment and growth depend upon the parents. While adulthood is the fruit of the tree that solely depends upon the struggle of parents, the thinking of Americans differs a little from this. Because when we hear American parenting, we think of independent children.
On the contrary, a report of America states that around 62% of mothers are overprotective and about a quarter gives too much freedom to their children. And there lies a gender gap in parenting style. While different statistics reveal different issues of parenting an adult, let's understand some of them.
How to raise an American adult?
The journey of a child from its childhood to a teenager and then from his/her teenager to adult is of much importance. Because that is the journey that includes emotional, physical, and mental changes.
The childhood and teenage phase still sounds a bit easy because most of their time is consumed at school. But when someone asks, 'How to raise American adult?' That sounds more burdensome. In America, at 16 you can have consensual sex, at 17 you can have a marriage without your parents' consent, can vote at 18, and buy legal marijuana at the age of 21.
So, if 18 is considered as an age where adulthood starts, we should believe them, even if science tells that adulthood starts earlier from that.
When it comes to adults, a lot of responsibility lies on parents' shoulders. Because it consists of academics, personal relationships, emotional issues, professional life, and many more. But when any problem occurs to them in their personal life, some are seen to contact their parents as instincts as breathing natural air and some are seen to not contacting their parents even in their hardest times.
Here are some suggestions that might help you to know how to raise an American adult
- Let your child choose his/her chore from an early age
There seems to be a decline in teenagers getting involved in household chores since the '80s. It's believed that children who take up chores from an early age of 10-15, develop a work ethic. It helps to keep themselves engaged in better work. They can take up any household chore like filling up the water bottles, changing their bed sheets, laundry and if they are of the age 16-18 they can learn to change tires, unclog drains, bringing grocery items for the home, and preparing meals.
- Teach them to be financially independent as early as possible
Every child should know the importance of money to be able to earn it with the utmost respect and dignity. When children are being left to enjoy their parents' money, they are more likely to become a spendthrift adult. So making them learn about budgeting and saving is a crucial stage of adulthood.
Encourage your child to do part-time jobs and let them pay for their outings, makeup, clothing, and other such things which they really need in their life.
This will eventually help them in their adulthood when will pursue a job according to their profession.
- Let them struggle by themselves
You cannot just spoon-feed your child everything.
They need to learn to cope up with every up and down in their life. Because parents' cannot be everywhere with their child. So, when you think that your child is ready enough to solve his/her own problems, don't push your life skills into them. Let them think about the solution and if they are still unable to solve them you can help them anyway.
Parenting versus Overparenting
Along with the changes and evolutions America has gone through so far, the way of parenting american child has been one of them. And now we come across terms like Overparenting which is another fashion adapted by the Americans.
There lies a thin line between Parenting and Overparenting. The basic difference between parenting and over parenting is, Parenting refers to handling your child your love and care, giving them freedom to do what they like or want, kind of nourishment parenting that leaves a positive impact in a children's life whereas Overparenting refers to a possessiveness that parents form towards their child to micromanage things.
Overparenting has been further divided into three types:
- Tiger parent
- The Bulldozer parent
- Helicopter parent
Do you find these names a bit scary? That's because Overparenting is indeed scary for all the American children.
Let's see what differentiates Overparenting from Parenting:
- Trying to control little things in your child's life rather than guiding them
If you are arguing with a 5-year old for over excessive use of chocolates or not eating enough vegetables or arguing with your 16-year old for his/her hairstyle, then that would be called as Overparenting. Rather than arguing with them, you can just try to understand what makes them prefer that for good parenting.
- Struggle to cope up with your child's choices
Overparenting leads to control of a child's life. If you are involving too much even in your child's personal relationship, then you should try to take your foot back. You need to understand that it is their life and they chose that relationship.
- Not ready to give enough freedom
Stealing freedom from an American adult will not only affect your relationship with your child but also your emotional status. An adult dreams of freedom to do things that were restricted in his/her initial age. You just need to be there as guidance, so that freedom doesn't lead to a danger signal in your child's life.
- Checklists of teenage
The teenage phase plays a very important role in an adult's life. Some parents try to make their children do things that they have checklists. They lead a mentality of 'whatever it takes' to shape their child's future. Overparenting will try to inculcate those things in a child's life irrespective of his/her choice whereas parenting will lead to a checklist of things that the child wants to do with its own interest.
"You cannot imagine your child gaining life skills and knowledge magically on their eighteenth birthday." The struggle begins from the teenage period. They need to have intensive training in a more friendly way so that those changes can be acquired in adults.